so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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