Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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