i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
