I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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