ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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