So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Someone signed my nipple.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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