Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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