ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
