What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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