I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
