Sry I called you an 8
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
