If i come over, it means nothing
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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