I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
