Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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