it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
