One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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