well I can't set my house on fire every night
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
