Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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