i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
