omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
