Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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