can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
