jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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