It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
