a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
