What a fucking waste of an outfit
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
