its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
