he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
