Where did you get a picture of my penis
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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