:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
