Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
