so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
