some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
