i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
