There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
