I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
