my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
