I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
