So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
