mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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