Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am available for nakedness
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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