After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
