is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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