We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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