Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
