Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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