I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
