Can Purell be used as lube?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
