I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
