Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
