Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
