Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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