..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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