Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
