All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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